Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Still Alive !

Yup, im still around.

So, what happened since my last post well, i'll break it down for ya.

Medical: Bad.

Crackhead neighbor: bad

Mates bike attempted theft: V.bad

Crackhead Neighbor attacking me with hammer: V V.bad !

Crackhead Neighbor lobbing Brick through window: Me have a nervous breakdown !

Police response: Waste of FUCKING time !

Womble coming over at 5am: V V Good !!

Moving out in about 5 hours: V.stressful, but also Good

Taking over Womble's house with all my junk: Not V.Good

Emergency appointment with Doctor: Bad, but got tranquilizers, so Good !

Letter from DWP saying im fit for work, all benefits stopped: V.V.Bad

Womble having to take me to A&E because i was suicidal, V.V.BAD !!!

Spending 5 hrs in A&E with Crisis Team: Not all bad, as got referral to Mental Health Team.

Seeing Doctor to explain what happened day before: Good, and got a sick note for 1 month.

Going for a walk in the woods with Womble: Excellent !!

Going to Boltons Frog parade on May Day: Damn good fun :oD

Having Grav and Howard Help me with Bike: Great to have mates !

Going out on mountain bike: I really need to get fit, but fun in the sun !!


So, there you have it, i've missed some bits out no doubt, but i think you get the general idea !!

Abnormal service will continue as and when i can ;o)

Laters Peeps !!

Friday, March 21, 2008

Incap Medical

Oh fuck, here we go again :o(

Even though i have filled in the forms, given evidence from my shrink, and written to them, they still insist that i have a damn medical.

The last time i had one, it was horrid. The nurse/doctor didn't seem at all interested, was hardly taking any notes and was a waste a time.

Thankfully, The interview was recorded, and BOY did that come in handy.

NONE of the answers that the bitch had wrote down were what i said, and to make it worse, she had wrote answers to questions that she didn't even fucking ask !!

And so, i the space of 10 minutes, she decided my doctor was wrong, i was wrong and i was fit for work.

The next step was that ALL my benefit was stopped, i had nothing to live on, and was very nearly evicted from the hovel i was living in.

It was only because of Womble that i got through all this, bless her !

And now, it starts all over again.

Deep, deep fucking joy :o\

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Saturday, February 02, 2008

New Year, New Month, New Lungs Please !!

I'm dying, or at least i feel like it :o(


Ok, so its not man flu, but its a real stinker of a head/chesty cold !

It feels like my head is stuffed full of cotton wool, my throat and lungs a drowning in green sticky slime, and my nose has just gave up being a nose, and is just producing a hell of a lot of drippy yuck !

I think i need a large bottle of scotch, some orange juice, and Nursey Womble to make me better ;o)

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Thank you Mr Axe Man !!

Today i feel very humble.

I received a parcel today, and i had no idea what it was ! I didn't remember ordering anything of the shape or weight, but it had my name on it, so i opened it !

To say i was shocked is an understatement. Out came a wonderful hand crafted axe, complete with a quality leather mask ! I have wanted one of these since Feb this year, when i used one at a camp meet. Its a great little axe, punches way above its weight, and its quality is second to none.

So, a HUGE thank you to "Mr Axe" (not his real name) you know who you are !!

Blessing to you Mate, and if you need anything, just shout OK ?

One VERY happy Spike !!

Friday, November 30, 2007

Bloody pissed off !

Guess you have all heard about the teddy bear Mohammad ? Yeah ?

Well, I'm sick to the teeth of people around the world taking pot shots at the British, and us just rolling over and playing dead. We now have people in Africa calling for the teacher to be shot FFS !!

I'm sure they hate us so, after all, we fund them, give them aid, medical advice and services, run fund raising charities for them, etc etc

Tell ya what, lets STOP ALL AID, and then see how they fucking cope shall we ?

Lets really give them something to get upset about.

I know its not all of the poeple in the country slagging us off. but i so wish this country of ours would grow a sodding backbone again, and pick all this PC bollocks out !!

Mad ? Damn right i am

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Civil Rights Trampled Yet Again !

Womble has had a great rant about more civil rights that have, or are going to be lost soon.

Please look at the great Rant HERE.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Stolen Bike Alert

My mate's bike has been nicked in Leeds. If the person who nicked it is reading this, may I suggest that you leave it in a very safe place (perhaps even back where you found it) and notify the Police of its whereabouts, because people are out looking for you, even as I type. Hell hath no fury, etc. etc.


The bike:


Yamaha Virago, reg number G408 WBY
Blue in colour with leather cover on tank
has forward cruiser pegs which are quite unique
has highway hawk clock on barstop
silencer has no baffle in
has renntec sissy bar

Monday, October 22, 2007

Good day today :o)

Up at 6am, stitched bike camo's, went to Coventry, pooped into Hairy Steve's, chat , coffee, and a nice ride back. All topped off with Banger an Mash with fried onions and shooms :o)

A good start to the week !

Thursday, October 18, 2007

About bloody time !!



Postal workers in Liverpool have agreed to end an nine-day unofficial strike.

This means i may finally get the items i brought at the start of the sodding month !!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Postal Farce

Not had ANY post now since the strikes started, still on strike now, 'may' be back to work tomorrow.

I'm sooo bloody pissed off with it all :o\ FFS, i have items that i would like before the end of the sodding month !!

Is that too much to bloody ask for !

Grrrrrrrr :o{

Monday, October 15, 2007

Bunny Bang !!

The Lizard !!

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out loud!

Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.
Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"

"Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged.

"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!).

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.

"Well, isn't THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny
little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know.

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be
so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.).

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labour. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen . . . Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . . um . . . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back."
He blushed, glancing at my wife.

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So, Ernie's just . . . just . . . excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I
married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. "It's just . . . that . . . I'm picturing you pulling on its . . . its . . . teeny little . . ." She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.



Two lizards: $140.
One cage: $50.
Trip to the vet: $30.
Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie:
Priceless!

Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class.
Lizards lay eggs.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Great YouTube video !!

Me like this alot !!!! :oD


Wednesday, August 01, 2007

New month..

And some old problems....

Really don't like crowds again, dunno why, i was fine for ages, but now it's back. I know it's only gonna be a temporary blip, and it will pass, but it dont half piss me me off at times !

Just try to think, your in a shop, queuing to pay for your goods, and suddenly you just wanna run out of there ! Thats what it's like, not fun, oh, and you sweat a lot as well. Not nce in the hot weather that we seem to have again !

Just a bit down at the moment, but it'll pass :o)

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Lesson's i have learnt this week

Lesson one:If your doing a course, read the bloody books before trying to answer the damn questions !!

Lesson two: Some of the best advice that you get, you seem to dismiss as you don't think it's important.

Lesson three: Keep a good supply of beer in the house. You never know when your need a beer !!

Lesson four: Do ya washing. It's no fun running out of socks :-s

Lesson five: Learn from the lesson's above *smirk*

Have fun all !!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Bear Faced Lies !!

Bear Grylls, also known as Survivor Man, has been proved to be a fake !

I always thought he was a danger to himself, and anybody watching his shows, as the risks he took were just bloody stupid !!

So, i was VERY happy to read about THIS on the internet :)

Happy Spikey LOL

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Pissed off and upset :(

As some of you may know, i used to train in, and teach the martial arts..... I havent trained now for about three years, due to ill health, having to move, severe cash flow problems etc etc. Well, i decided to look into training again, and found what i thought was a really nice place, applied for the info pack and had a very nice call from them to arrange a visit and a chat :o)

Well, i went there this evening, very nice gym, clean, bright, tidy etc friendly staff, so on the whole, a great first impression ! Filled in a basic contact form, normal name, address etc.

Then met the chief instructor, nice bloke, had the tour and went into the office for a chat. Was going great until he asked where i work.......

I'm on the long term sick, as i have mental health problems, so i told him so, to which he replied " How are you going to afford the fee's? " I then informed him that no-one had told me the fee's so i don't know !

Thats when it all went wrong for me, as it is, and i quote " £249 joining fee, and then it's £49 pcm for the basic entry level training" OMFG !!! How fucking much :oO

Needless to say, i wont be training there...

So, i'm now very pissed off, and i think im going to sulk for awhile, and i have a wicked headache :o(

Time to keep looking, or beer, i dunno.....

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Im still here :)

After a dead laptop, two dead bikes, a tour of the shetland iles, mate's stag night and all other manor of things, which also includes moving house, i now return to blogging status :)

Yes, there will be more roadkill photo's, rants, maybe more random mutterings and the odd joke (ok, Very odd joke !)

Cheers for reading !

Knackard of Liverpool